The behavioral effects of praise include increased positive behavior and self discipline. Praise enhances the parent-child bond and leads to improved self-esteem. The trick is doing it right.
Vague, non-specific praises, like "you are smart" or "good job" can have negative impact, including decreased motivation, lowered IQ scores, and diminished self-confidence.
Here are a few tips for making praise effective:
1) Be specific. Use direct language to identify the behavior that you desire. For example, "I love the way you put your toys away in the bin" or "I like the way you are sharing your toys with your sister."
2) Be sincere.
3) You can never use too many praises. In fact, you should give 10 praises for every 1 criticism.
4) Be sure you have your child's attention. Move close, look your child in the eye, give a pat on the back or touch his/her shoulder as you state your praise.
5) Praise immediately. As soon as your child demonstrates a behavior you like, give him/her praise. This will increase the likelihood that s/he will do that behavior again.
6) Make sure the praise is all positive. The key here is to avoid sarcasm or listing other behaviors that you did not appreciate. For example, "Thank you for putting your clothes in the hamper. Now if you did that every day your room wouldn't be so smelly."
Try and give your child at least five praises each day. You can post examples of praise around your home (e.g., on the refrigerator, on your bathroom mirror) as a reminder to do it often. The more you practice, the more routine this parenting strategy will become.
